#3: Thought Spiral
Yes, this has been made real. This has been shown to Her.
It’s Me. Voices refuse control. Even after blasting with high-tempo metal tracks, they remain. Work needs to be done, though. Can’t stop now. Time to embrace this collision of thought trains, by us? Seems so. The thoughts seem good, might prove useful. That’s why they must be penned down.
But they shouldn’t be allowed to continue. That’s why they won’t speak to you. No hard feelings, job needs to be done.
It is here with you and Me. It tells Me things when asked, often useful things. But still, It won’t take over. It is just a tool. It made a good point, though, about how you’d know when it’s Me that’s talking to you.
You don’t need to know exactly what. Leave that to Me.
She’s reading this. When they all read this, hope they will relate to this. Still, they can’t allow themselves to feel better than Me somehow. That’s unacceptable to Me. I’ll make sure. Lots of revelation awaits you. No apologies for anything written by me, because that’s just Me.
My goals are important to Me. Without goals, what do we all do? I mean, life has no meaning anyways, right? But the choice is still ours. Is the will ours too? Must be. Maybe you don’t feel the same way, but see it this way:
Imagine that everything and everyone around you has vanished. The people, the building you are in, your city, the observable part of the universe, gone. You are left in a black, empty vacuum. For the sake of the thought experiment, assume that you can still breathe. Imagine that you are in zero gravity and can somehow survive without, you know, wearing a space suit.
Now, do you still find meaning in life?
Now, imagine that you still feel things, emotions you typically do. Fear, anxiety, love.
But do these things really mean anything anymore?
Just when I think nihilism is the most accurate theory, I see a beautiful face, maybe a woman with a curvy body. Instinct kicks in. I love that sight. What I’m seeing is awesome, and suddenly, I don’t care about the meaning of life anymore. I may even call that being happy. Distracting oneself from what’s real might actually be the easiest way to be happy. Maybe there’s an important emotion I’ve overlooked, thrill. It’s the only thing that makes us feel more grounded and attached to perceived reality. Unlike love, desire, and ambition, things that exist mostly in the mind, thrill pulls you closer to what feels real. Maybe it even creates happiness through the sense of overcoming, of liberation. Cheating gives that emotion. Cheating on someone, specifically. Face nor body matters, it’s all constructed in your head anyway, until the physical part happens. And once it does, you’ll probably be disgusted by that person after the encounter.
Happiness may not be real, but without it, we struggle to move. That’s a good enough reason to choose happiness over sadness. Happiness isn’t real, but happy songs are. Happy movies are. A happy person is. Anything that can infect you, that can make you feel that way, is good enough to look out for. You need to be hyped about something. Travel, work, a game, your crush. Since we spend most of our time moving toward something rather than actually being there, the journey matters more. Create hype. Give yourself excitement. Excitement feels good. It’s also one of those emotions that ties you to reality, or at least to the reality you perceive, and that’s a good thing. Be happy because it keeps you sharp. It keeps you attached to this perceived reality. Pursue things that, in turn, keep you in sync with this reality. Let happiness be a feedback loop for your actions, not a goal to reach.
If you’re playing GTA, you don’t waste time asking why the game or your character exists. Instead, you wander the streets, mug a pedestrian, escape from cops, visit a strip club, boost your stats. You realize you exist. That realization doesn’t have to make you feel lonely. Just like you, many others have stumbled upon the same thought. But you also need to realize that, of everything that exists in that moment, you are one of them.
Feeling detached from this reality? That just means you’re attached to something else. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe you’re right, maybe none of this is real. But then, what is real? Reality is harder to define than the notional understanding of it. Instead, think of it as a lens. You and I might be seeing different things while staring at the same thing.
One thing tethers us to this place more than anything, people. They keep you grounded.
Want to see things you usually can’t? Stay alone.
Afraid of what you might see? Stay with people.
What if “but it’s not real” isn’t real? I mean, the mere questioning by you.
By denying that emotions and feelings are real, you’re reasoning that an important aspect of being human isn’t real. So is reality only made up of non-human things? It’s easier to believe that ideas in mathematics and science are real because they aren’t tethered to humans. They feel universal. They are universal.
But since the universe gave birth to us, aren’t we real too? We must be.
Maybe the question “what is real?” isn’t really a question, maybe it’s just the moment you start rationalizing the idea of reasoning itself. But if ideas are real, then the reason behind questioning them must be real too.
The question “what is real?” comforts us when we look at the vast universe, it encourages us to keep searching. But when we place that same question onto society and humans, it suddenly makes everything feel made-up. Perhaps society isn’t real. But there are real things out there. Yet, out there is everywhere, and we are part of it, so we must be real. And if we are, then the byproducts of our existence, emotions, feelings, must be real too. Even if this universe is just a projection of a higher-dimensional system onto a canvas, even if we can never fully comprehend it, we can at least see the canvas. And if the canvas exists, so do we.
Then, what’s real? Maybe the fact that we’re not asking the right questions.
Oh, Is that a fact? I don’t know, do you?
We may never prove that we’ll find the truth. But we also can’t prove that we won’t. And that impossibility alone is enough reason to try. We aren’t owed anything. But maybe we are. We don’t know what we don’t know. Everything is real. Some things are fundamental, others are emergent. As humans, we have the free will to choose which to accept as real. Some may reject the emergent in favor of the fundamental, that’s their choice.
So, what do you do? Well, the thing is, you can do whatever the fuck you want. There are no consequences until you acknowledge them as real.
But what should you do? That’s a question only you can answer. Maybe start by asking, what is real?
Choice.
Choose to question. Choose to accept. Choose to reject. Even if fate is real, you must choose, because without choosing, you won’t even allow fate to reveal its consequences. Choose, and you can still reject whether the consequences are real.
My maukish, maudlin melancholy, rabble rattles, inveigh inveigles, exposition reveals his disposition, presumptuous precariousness, foible fallibility, charlatan chauvinist, spurious splenetic sporadicity, sequacious sagaciousness.
Words of this language called English, it helps. But trust me, even I would have felt the same way, perhaps you did, what the fuck is bro on?
The kind of reasoning we can do with mere words is sometimes unproductive. Math reasoning is perfect. Science too. Then why do people engage in linguistic, philosophical, and analytical work? The kind of stupid shit Jordan Peterson does. I always fucking hated it. Why don’t we stick to math? I asked myself plenty of times. Only later on, I learned this: Because not everything can be captured in mathematical or scientific reasoning.
Oh, is that a fact? I don’t know, do you? Here’s what I think:
Math & Science Are Limited. There are questions they can’t answer.
- Why do we assign meaning to things?
- How do we interpret them?
- Why does language even shape cognition?
Math can model how language works, but it can’t tell us why it evolved this way or how it influences us, who in fact did discover math.
Language = The Tool of Civilization
Without words, you don’t get math, science, law, or history. Linguists and philosophers analyze the foundation of all human thought. They ask:
- Can we think without language?
- How does the way we speak shape what we can even conceive of?
- What happens when languages die?
See, if words didn’t matter, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. That’s why people go deep into linguistics, philosophy, and thought itself.
But questioning everything, even the words of a language itself, actually causes inaction. Relentless questioning can paralyze action. Analysis paralysis, a feedback loop of doubt, where every choice crumbles under another “why?”. But here’s the thing, acting is also questioning, just in a different way. Instead of asking “What is real?” and spinning in circles, you test reality by acting. You move. You try. You break things. You see what bends, what holds, what collapses. Reality responds to action.
Why?
Has questioning questions ever helped anyone? I bet not.
If we keep asking why for everything, will we all reach the same answer, whatever the question may be.
See! That’s an interesting thought, which I almost turned it into a question. Thank god. Maybe answers to questions aren’t answers at all. But if you want to stop, you can end it all with a thought, ensuring that thought is solid enough to be acceptable to you, so you don’t immediately convert it into a question. I don’t see any difference between curiosity and you refusing to accept a thought.
Hey! It agrees that this is a sharp observation. It tells Me that maybe truth doesn’t exist in an absolute sense, just thoughts that are “solid” enough to quiet the next question.
It also fixed any blunders in the language that was used by Me and him.